Tag Archives: music

Take the rap, gangsta.

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Fo shizzle dizzle, its the big Neptizzle with the Snoopy D-O-Double Jizzle!

What the fuck?

Though I must congratulate Snoop Dogg (are we entreated to enunciate dog with a pronounced g sound?) on his lucrative endeavour in mangling language and adding -izzles for a scintillating effect.

Indeed, Dr. Seuss would have been proud.

So what’s the ballyhoo-izzle about rap? Why do some squander to listen to these oversexed bling-carrying arm-swishing argot wielders? Correct me if I’m wrong but I’ve yet to see any rap songs or music videos which challenge my idea of rap. I assure you that I can appreciate the rappers’ ‘individuality’ and personal taste, albeit they are non-existent.

Apparently, they do it for the Gs and they do it for the hustlaz.

Fo shizzle dizzle, its the big Neptizzle with the Snoopy D-O-Double Jizzle!
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Ten Amazing Artists (hoho, an alliteration accomplishment in addition)

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The heebie-jeebies and couple of rides on the darned cotton ponies has resulted in a complete psyche-makeover and I apologise to those artists who have been demoted from January’s ‘Ten Amazing Artists and Albums’. For memory’s sake, these were: Martha Wainwright, Franz Ferdinand and Maksim Mrvica. Three out of ten, humph, guess I’ve retained 70% (am I right… maths and I, phewie- we can never get the relationship going) of my I-love-you-you-love personality.

Anyway, badabubbadabow!- let the fanfare cry! To the new Ten Amazing Artists… I LOVE YOU!:

Artists:

1. Rufus Wainwright

Rufus Wainwright smokes and smothers.

What can I say about this shiny billion-in-one package? To spare those unacquainted with Rufus (how dare you!) and those who loathe him (how VERY dare you!) and those who remain indifferent to his milk-of-paradise voice (HOW very, okay you know what, leave this instant. Hatred is frightful enough, but Apathy is the unfaltering phlegm in an all too diseased humanity I can never leave sticking around) from a hundreds-paged discourse on his brilliance, I’ll just say these three words of wisdom: Get. Listen. Love.

Thank you. Gosh, there goes a new line in my CV: Pious missionary in amassing born-again Converts of the I-Love-RW cult. Moving on (in discourse but not in spirit) to…

2. Corinne Bailey Rae

My discerning eyes tell me she is at the Grammy's. They also inform me that she is a picturesque wonder.

3. Madeleine Peyroux

The modern Billie Holiday.

4. Billie Holiday

5. Amy Winehouse

6. Mika

7. Melody Gardot

What can I say... her name's a superb fit. Wish I could say the same about my pair of jeans.

8. John Barrowman

Bang! Went the artery in my heart. Bad onomatopoeia, I know, but one tries :).

9. Pink Martini

Nothing goes better with an imaginary martini (thanks a lot, government 'authorities') on a sunny, drizzling day than Pink Martini (not that we get many sunny and drizzling days here so Pink Martini do well in mocktail-cocktail lounge sessions). You do understand that this is all metaphorical? ;P