Category Archives: music

Take the rap, gangsta.

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Fo shizzle dizzle, its the big Neptizzle with the Snoopy D-O-Double Jizzle!

What the fuck?

Though I must congratulate Snoop Dogg (are we entreated to enunciate dog with a pronounced g sound?) on his lucrative endeavour in mangling language and adding -izzles for a scintillating effect.

Indeed, Dr. Seuss would have been proud.

So what’s the ballyhoo-izzle about rap? Why do some squander to listen to these oversexed bling-carrying arm-swishing argot wielders? Correct me if I’m wrong but I’ve yet to see any rap songs or music videos which challenge my idea of rap. I assure you that I can appreciate the rappers’ ‘individuality’ and personal taste, albeit they are non-existent.

Apparently, they do it for the Gs and they do it for the hustlaz.

Fo shizzle dizzle, its the big Neptizzle with the Snoopy D-O-Double Jizzle!

Ten Amazing Artists (hoho, an alliteration accomplishment in addition)

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The heebie-jeebies and couple of rides on the darned cotton ponies has resulted in a complete psyche-makeover and I apologise to those artists who have been demoted from January’s ‘Ten Amazing Artists and Albums’. For memory’s sake, these were: Martha Wainwright, Franz Ferdinand and Maksim Mrvica. Three out of ten, humph, guess I’ve retained 70% (am I right… maths and I, phewie- we can never get the relationship going) of my I-love-you-you-love personality.

Anyway, badabubbadabow!- let the fanfare cry! To the new Ten Amazing Artists… I LOVE YOU!:


1. Rufus Wainwright

Rufus Wainwright smokes and smothers.

What can I say about this shiny billion-in-one package? To spare those unacquainted with Rufus (how dare you!) and those who loathe him (how VERY dare you!) and those who remain indifferent to his milk-of-paradise voice (HOW very, okay you know what, leave this instant. Hatred is frightful enough, but Apathy is the unfaltering phlegm in an all too diseased humanity I can never leave sticking around) from a hundreds-paged discourse on his brilliance, I’ll just say these three words of wisdom: Get. Listen. Love.

Thank you. Gosh, there goes a new line in my CV: Pious missionary in amassing born-again Converts of the I-Love-RW cult. Moving on (in discourse but not in spirit) to…

2. Corinne Bailey Rae

My discerning eyes tell me she is at the Grammy's. They also inform me that she is a picturesque wonder.

3. Madeleine Peyroux

The modern Billie Holiday.

4. Billie Holiday

5. Amy Winehouse

6. Mika

7. Melody Gardot

What can I say... her name's a superb fit. Wish I could say the same about my pair of jeans.

8. John Barrowman

Bang! Went the artery in my heart. Bad onomatopoeia, I know, but one tries :).

9. Pink Martini

Nothing goes better with an imaginary martini (thanks a lot, government 'authorities') on a sunny, drizzling day than Pink Martini (not that we get many sunny and drizzling days here so Pink Martini do well in mocktail-cocktail lounge sessions). You do understand that this is all metaphorical? ;P

Rufus Wainwright is a God.

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And Want Two is my Bible (yes, an honest Bible does exist- no longer limited to being a preached oxymoron)!

I have to write a review for Want Two, for the chef-d’oeuvre which has provided me (and doubtlessly many others) the most transcendental, warmest musical experience one can ever imbibe through a cold, metallic disc. I believe this is Rufus’s most underrated album thus far, and my absolute favourite (this is saying something, considering it comes from one whose ‘cigarettes and chocolate milk’ is Rufus Wainwright)!

Having read so many articles comparing Rufus’s voice to saccharine foods, let me just extend their encomiums with another (less stimulating) metaphor… His songs, mellifluous as they are, embody a unique personal quality to an extent that we listeners will not only be climbing a stairway to a makeshift Shangri-la, but we are rungs closer to understanding the virtuoso himself. He’s my sole remedy in purging myself of the kitschy, oversexed music which the majority of my peers at school listen to! Gay Messiah, This Love Affair and especially The Art Teacher continually make me a loyal Kleenex customer.

Why homophobia never seems to dissipate or crunch away is beyond me. To those whose enchridion-based beliefs cause anguish to their ‘victims’, I can only hope that Jesus etc. will descend (in a flowing robe for dramatic effect) and cry “MATTHEW, PETER AND SO & SO, THAT IS SO OUT OF CONTEXT!!!” To expedite empathy with our colourful friends, here is a performance by Rufus Wainwright whose angelic voice really extravasated the raw emotions (i.e. unrequited love) from ‘The Art Teacher’:

Listen to ‘The Art Teacher’ (without video) on my post ‘The Allure of Unrequited Love’ at

5 Stars any day.

Madonna in drag of heavenly Hell. (I hope you recognise that as a pun or literary device of sorts; it was already lame).

Gosh, scrummy in trench coat and drag. That’s Rufus for you!

To the many loyal fans of Rufus, visit and search for Rufus Wainwright in the artists box- you’ll find a couple of interviews there (you’ll need iTunes). Alternatively, should troubles arise (as they did for a tech-unsavvy me), go to and save the ’32k’ links which worked for me :D!


p.s. An Easter treat lies in!